A fucket list is the opposite of a bucket list.
It’s the things you don’t want to do before you die.
(According to Urban Dictionary, it could also be spelled fuckit list and sometimes it refers to a list of people to have sexual intercourse with before you die. This is not such a list.)
The rules are simple:
- It must be something you don’t want to do, ever.
- It must be something that seems to be a “thing” to other people.
- It’s okay to be slightly passive-aggressive (my personal rule).
1Jump out of a functional airplane
Because I don’t suffer from dopamine deficiency.
2Buy expensive stuff for social status
Stuff just wear you down and up owning you instead.
I don’t, anyway.
4Run a marathon
There must be healthier ways to get likes on Facebook.
5Climb a mountain
I can’t imagine what type of business I would have up there.
6Try auto-erotic asphyxiation
Brains need oxygen, right?
I’m geeky, but not that geeky.
8Join the Mile High Club
This just in: It’s not sexy to have intercourse where strangers defecate.
9Go backpacking across Europe
I like fancy hotels and I prefer to travel light.
I get my kicks from reading books, said the introvert.
11Ask for a celebrity autograph
I wouldn’t know what to actually do with the autograph.
12Respect religious beliefs
Because, you know, science.
13Swim with sharks.
They keep out of my living room, so…
14See a psychic for any type of answers
If I did, I’d be better off seeing a psychiatrist.
15Be a toastmaster
Let’s just say that it’s not my thing.
My temper could never handle it.
17Run for a political office
I’d love to run someone’s campaign, though.
18Get easily offended
I don’t want to belong to that group.
19Learn about wine
I don’t want to belong to that group, either.
20Join a cult
I’m not a very good follower.
21Visit a circus
Animals shouldn’t be living like that.
22Keep up with the Kardashians
What would you put on your fucket list? Please share in the comments.